There’s something critically wrong with the consciousness of America as a whole and in this (unique) case I cannot blame the fact that six companies control 96% of the world’s media. They’re in it for commerce and their commerce has always been dependent upon people’s ravenous desire for the distraction of mindless stupidity; specifically epic fails of the rich and famous. It appeals to our base level subconscious desires that give us respite from our all too menial and pedestrian lives.

Indeed it does.

I’m speaking of course about Charlie Sheen. And I say “we” because my so-called higher consciousness self also fell prey to the ways of sheep when I posted a rant of his on my Facebook page. Granted it was right at the start of his madness when I thought it was a one-time bit; just another day of Celebrities Gone Wild in La-La land . Now, nearly ten days later, Sheengate has gotten so out of control that I’m hoping to become a terminal victim of a stray bullet rather than continuing to face this abhorrent daily onslaught. All my geeky-cool websites that I’ve culled so meticulously to give me my knowledge fix are posting non-stop Sheenisms. I sit in fear waiting for my beloved Scientific American to betray me by finding some ridiculously obscure way to cash in as well. That would be the last straw. Clearly I’d have to man-up, find a gun, and do it myself. Save tech-free isolation indefinitely, what else is a girl to do? Sit around with the rest of the world secretly waiting for him to overdose and die?

Because that’s exactly what we’re doing.

Why else are millions of people still feeding like bloodsuckers on this story? Because anything less and we’ll really have post gossip coital regret for investing so much of our intellectual time in Sheens drug-addled megalomaniac lunacy. C’mon… it’s the big finish! If he dies, we can all be right! Right about the perils of too much fame and money and never having to be accountable to any social or moral norm because of such. To hell with the life of a famous person whose Peter Pan existence affords none of us everyday hardworking people the same glorious escapist havens.

People love being right.

Even at the expense of the death of another human being, which despite all evidence to the contrary, Charlie Sheen still is. And just like when a director yells action, if he does indeed die, on cue America will be SO sad. “Such a shame…” “His poor kids…” “He was far too young…” B and C-list fame-mongers will inhabit the next wave of media onslaught with soulful quotes (with their best side shots for photographic purposes along with plugs about their upcoming new DVDs/reality shows/cookbooks for anorexics). His death will be cashed in upon as much as his sickness currently is. Then, like all things in media that fade (stop generating income), he will disappear altogether from public consciousness. Well, not altogether. You can count on the Academy Awards that follow his death to snub him during their “In Memoriam” segment. Mustn’t glorify or condone drug addiction after all, only capitalize on it.

Can you imagine an alternate (morally responsible) Universe? One where the media acts like responsible parents; allowing their kid (Sheen) to scream and cry and rant all he wants till he wears himself out and learns the lesson that doing so does not result in adoration and gains? Or doing the right thing by them when they’re sick (as he so clearly is) by giving them help, not reward, for continuing on an inevitably lethal path? But that wouldn’t make the Top Six any money and they most definitely won’t ever don the responsible parent roll. A celebrity’s life lost is a huge financial boon. There’s big money in crazy; HUGE money in death. They won’t change, but we can. We can stop gobbling up the public self-destruction of another human being. We can “Just Say No!” to the cycle of click, read, and repeat. We can choose instead to invest in man’s salvation rather than his downfall, because I’ll tell you something…if Charlie Sheen dies, make no mistake that the public, however minor their participation, will have been wholly complicit in its facilitation.

*Upon going to press, we learned that Scientific American did indeed do a story on Charlie Sheen.

Carissa Tedesco has thusly moved to Compton.

To contact Carissa Tedesco email: dualitygirl@aol.com